A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all.

I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?" He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get my drivers' license."

The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smart when he's drunk and stoned."

The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in this stolen car!" At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet