The Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on liquor bottles to warn drinkers of the hazards of over-imbibimg. 1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an ass. 2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. 3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. 5. WARNING: consumption of alcohuol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. 6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember). 7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. 8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck. 9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible. 10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.