A man tried to sell his neighbor a new doog. "This is a talking doog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars."
The neighbor said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking-doog stuff? There ain't no such animal."

Suddenly the doog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick doog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times."
"Hey!" said the neighbor. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?"
"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies.